Saying no to Social Media (and 6 truths that will set you free)
Donna Maria Coles Johnson, founder and CEO of the Indie Business Network once said, “Time is my friend. I do not spend time. I invest it. Every moment is a chance to create something great.”
And I want to inspire you to use your time to create your dreams. Time is our greatest commodity. Use it wisely.
I speak to the young generation, an encouragement to rise above the distraction of our time, though this is to encourage anyone who has become engulfed in its deception.
Over 4.9 billion people worldwide use some sort of social media. These online platforms allow people to create, share and exchange information, ideas and content with others. Simple messengers and MySpace are now a thing of the past. The most popular social media platforms today include Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, TikTok, and YouTube and in some ways includes WhatsApp and other sites that most people know nothing about. The number of users is estimated to increase another billion by 2027. Social media made a significant impact on our lives, both in positive and negative ways, changing the way we communicate, do business, and engage with one other. Yet, it has also raised concerns about privacy, mental health, and online safety.
With social media, we have been able to engage one another in both amusing and serious content. We have been able to keep engaged during isolating covid and increase our mood during moments of low. We’ve been able to share interesting and informative content that we probably would never have learned without it. It has given businesses a way to engage with their customers and allowed many to raise awareness on local and global topics.
However, there is a dark side to the use of social media. Cyberbullying, stalking, anxiety, loneliness, depression, and exposure to inappropriate content have caused thousands to question their accounts. This is what I shed light on below.
It’s true that I have no social media accounts today because I have said no to it.
The world is becoming more delusional
Day by day.
The infiltration of social media,
Lust,
Facade.
Men and women, young and old have sold themselves for mere crumbs of what a beautiful and nourishing existence looks like.
We have reduced ourselves to titles,
Fame,
And greed.
Greed for attention,
validation
friends,
titles,
talent,
possessions
and pride.
Social media came into our lives as a wave of excitement. Something new. Perhaps something useful.
Until it wasn’t.
A way to enhance our lives
Through creativity,
Expression,
And connections.
Yet it caused us to gauge our self-worth and the worth of others by its echoing back of the number of followers, friends, likes and comments and giving us a false sense of happiness, purpose and belonging.
There’s no doubt that social media has allowed businesses and organizations to share their vision and knowledge with the world and build rapport, but at what cost?
It’s allowed individuals to make a name and even an income for themselves.
Allowed strangers to meet
and worlds to connect,
all which never would have been possible without it.
but at what cost?
Social media leaves us with scraps and fragments of what a life well lived actually looks like.
In the end, it’s offerings are hollow.
If you’ve been on social media for any length of time, then you’re not a stranger to the self-centered world that social media has created. It has users glued to their phone and we’re still trying to figure out how to put it down.
If constant anxiety,
Loss of purpose,
Anticipating your next high or low depending on people’s feedback,
The need to prove,
to show,
to feel,
To live and do life for the purpose of commenting and posting to feel validated as a human being,
If that’s your thing, then by all means use it and be used by it and watch your life be stolen right before your eyes.
You will never get those hours and days and months and years back from your life.
Saying no to social media is one of the best things you can do for your health.
I never was a full on social media user.
I did get into it for a short time during high school and then deleted it all once I got married (at that time it was only Facebook)
It would be nearly ten years before I’d sign up for it all again for the purpose of “promoting business,”
to “help others” in healing,
To help myself
Motivate myself.
Social media left me confused and at a lost sense of reality.
I really enjoyed using my abilities to create.
Utilizing photography and design apps to make posts, and edit videos,
To use posts as a way to write more.
I thought I had found something great.
Here is truth #1 - our life does not need to be anything more than ordinary.
I tried many strategies to make it work for myself.
From sharing a small part of my personal life to business content only
to deciding at what times I would post and what times I would not go on it.
Just listening to how much brain space I gave to it,
feels ridiculous
This doesn’t even include the daily anxiety that filled me as I over thought my posts or comments, experienced conflicting and confusing emotions when it came to friending and following accounts or responding to others or not being responded to, how personally I took it, the amount of time it took me to create the posts, the amount of energy and space it had on my life. I could go on.
When I used social media, it was at the center and focus of my thoughts no matter how hard I tried for it not to be.
It was never actually fulfilling.
It always felt what God’s word considers as vanity.. “woa, all is vanity.”
Call it a mental dilemma but I call it my soul telling me to get out.
It stole from me.
It stole my peace while it gave me very little back in regards to my growth as a soul.
It disrupted my values and virtues.
It stole my energy, and my focus.
And many low moral individuals tried to steal my time and attention with their nonsense allurments.
I would be on for some weeks
then deleting it for some months
and then back on
and then off
and then…
I was like, “Woa. Why am I doing this to my poor life? My poor heart?”
I made the decision to get rid of it all a couple of years ago,
for good.
It never was a struggle for me to get rid of it. I held such negative connotations about it. I experienced a certain disgust for it that allowed me to so easily and indefinitely get rid of it.
I got rid of facebook and Instagram, WhatsApp and then YouTube (the only social medias I had) because I felt so uneasy about it all of the time. I found Snapchat and tiktok, WhatsApp and instagram to be so completely full of nonsense and so toxic that those never lasted very long after downloading them.
I felt so deep in my soul it’s unnatural worth,
It’s low key facade,
It’s gimmicks.
I craved realness, authenticity, and an organic life.
I was tired of seeing images of people half naked everywhere. It does not matter how clean you keep your social media, you will see nakedness and that is not something I want to be bombarded with.
Social media gives too many people an inflated sense of self-importance,
And self was the least that I wanted.
I wanted more of my creator,
More of my kids,
More of my husband,
More of my home.
And yes more of my soul. More quietness in my soul.. the quietness that is necessary to create a beautiful, well-lived life.
And here is truth #2 - You do not need to “be someone” to be someone.
Yes, I made beautiful content but it costed me a lot. I spent so much time and inconvenienced myself as a mother and wife using social media.
It felt fit for me to have them not exist rather then having them exist but not have them be part of something beautiful.
Social media is not beautiful.
The soul will know it’s worth only when detached from the things that falsely feed it.
Truth #3 - We need no title to live a meaningful life.
We have bought into instant gratification,
putting up titles to instantly make us feel we are “someone",”
to filling our time on social media, time that could be spent working toward concrete accomplishments.
Social media requires a constant sort of “butt kissing,”
having to reassure everyone of how cute this is, how awesome they are.
There’s no way possible everyone isn’t exhausted in some way having to constantly live up to this.. this standard to be liked, seen and appreciated.
Not everything in life should be congratulated.
Receiving so much attention and congratulations for everything takes away it’s worth.
We should be more embarrassed than we are, to accept so much flattery.
God’s word says “a man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.”
Never trust a flatterer.
And that’s all social media is.
There is no doubt that social media content gives an illusion of happy,
perhaps perfect
and of false humility.
An illusion of well-being and truth that cannot be rightly depicted.
Truth #4 - You do not need validation from anyone over the internet. You do not need validation to live your life happily.
What does it even mean for you to be happy?
This is a good question you should ask yourself.
We need detachment from these fake validations so that we can not only “find” ourselves but make ourselves.
Social media uses a lot of time, for some people all of their extra time.
It’s what they are thinking about even when they are holding a conversation with someone in person.
And scatters one’s energy a little here
A little there.
There is no way the healthy are as healthy as they seem when all they are doing is constantly checking their phone and living a life only to post about it. Smiling one moment and probably throwing a fit or crying in depression the next.
Social media is a cancer on society, influencing the users behavior and character negatively.
We enhance wellbeing when we keep our energy within ourselves, not allowing for it to be left or used or scattered as fragments everywhere.
I have a different vision for how I want my work to be left in this world, and to my children.
I have a different vision for how I want to use my time and talents, knowledge and expertise.
I have a vision for how broad or how narrow of a community I want my work to actually reach.
Is it natural for all of us to reach hundreds or thousands or millions of people?
Is it natural for people we don’t know very well (or at all) come to know about our whereabouts and our doings without having told them directly or personally?
I have a different vision for Restored Sattva; one that does not involve any gimmicks or excess time wasters.
The world has lost its decorum, it’s impeccable charm.
I desire to see virtue increase in my own self and for life to be beautiful without the things that bring too much weight.
I created The Gentle Living Lifestyle because I needed something different. I didn’t need what the world was offering me. I needed to look deep within and create what I found was worthy of my attention and effort and most if not all of it is right here in my home loving my family and doing the simple things that God has provided for me to do.
I am not naturally slow and gentle in my coming and going’s and therefore I needed the guide of gentle living all the more. The last thing I needed was to parade and to seek outside myself for which many social media platforms call for.
If I feel the need for gentle living,
many others do too.
Social media is too heavy for me.
It creates constant noise,
worry,
doubts,
An unending questioning
And anxiety inside my mind.
I think that social medias are not a necessary evil.
Rather, we have made them to seem necessary.
Businesses wouldn’t be a business or wouldn’t do well without social media because everyone is on it and that’s the best way to reach them (or is it?).
We as a society are the reason businesses feel they need the medias. It’s become a way of life, such as the need for email and websites, etc. There may not be much we can do about that, but what can we pursue in our own lives that give social media a very far back seat? We can pursue what’s right before our eyes - our own present life. Don’t let social media have such a front seat, such a deep focus in your life.
Society creates forward motion.
But is the use of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube etc, considered forward motion or is it only robbing us of our health and relationships? Is it taking society in reverse and actually giving us less freedoms than we’ve ever had before?
It’s a good question we should ask ourselves.
I want my work to matter. Not to be just another post that ends up somewhere along a five minute page scroll,
Or being thought of as less important because it doesn’t have a certain number of likes,
Or my time being worth the effort in terms of did my work actually help anyone, did it help me without robbing me? Without robbing someone else?
The amount of time it takes to create social media content is outstanding and for what?
We’ve become a sick society that feels we must have many titles, and many talents and the world must know about them all.
Gone are the days that we do something in secret, in private, for the very reason being that we love it, not so that we can show it off.
Gone are the days when just existing and being a regular ‘ol human being or next door neighbor was enough. I seek this. I thought I wanted something more but I lost too much. The only thing I want now is to be a regular human being. A mommy. A wife. In my home. Doing my thing.
Gone are the days of humility, bashfulness, reservedness.
But these are the things I seek to grow into.
These are the things that interest me.
Truth #5 - A life lived in the shadow, is a life whose heart will feel the deepest and will have enjoyed more and regretted less when its hour comes to say goodbye.
The work we do in this life is everything.
God made us for work and what we produce comes from who we are and
is part of who we become;
It’s our heritage,
It becomes part of the future generations,
Part of the knit.
How do you want to spend your work?
your time?
your energy?
What will you produce and for whom?
Influencers and certain personality figures make their money by social media and would cease to exist should it cease to exist.
Many people would have far less people to talk to and far less information and entertainment to digest if it weren’t for social media. Social media then becomes a need like the body needs daily water, or they feel dead,
lost and disconnected.
Yet by connecting on social media, we are not connecting at all.
We are disconnecting from ourselves and our loved ones.
We are disconnecting from our worth, from our purpose.
That kind of living,
That kind of dependence is uncomfortable for me to think about.
I like to feel free. I want to be free.
Gentle living is about feeling light, yet full and social media is a heavy burden that makes one feel empty.
Sure, you’ll feel on top at some points, only to come crashing down in major lows the next. That’s your spirit catching wave on how little social media is able to actually fill you. Only the Lord was meant to do that.
Social media is a direct form of psychology, it’s mind hacking
being done to us
and us to others.
It’s a game.
Even the decision to follow or friend or ignore or block has become a big game.
We seek to become more authentic and loving souls while living the exact opposite.
Tools have been created throughout the centuries as a way to enhance how we do things; to make life easier.
We went from sunlight and moonlight to candle to lightbulb.
Walking to horse and buggy to cars.
Life being enjoyed for life, working with our hands and minds in domestic work to create and then enjoy what we created with our loved ones to now utilizing time to show case what we’re doing and the false sense of community of social media.
Tools are not meant to use us or seduce or manipulate.
Social media is therefore not a tool.
It uses us rather than being used. We are it’s tool and it’s exhausting us.
We can make any excuse we want to in order to make it seem different but in our hearts we know it steals from us. And a person who is sensitive in heart and seeks pureness and authenticity in life, will find social media to be extremely debilitating mentally.
I had all the excuses too.
It wasn’t until I laid down the excuses did I come to find a freedom from it.
I now can’t imagine my life with all that inside my head.
My head is so full of many other things, I don’t know how I found any room for such nonsensical dealings.
I even stumble upon photos and videos I used for stories and posts and I do cringe when I look at them.
How I remember the response I was looking for, or how much time I spent getting the right angle or whatever it may be. I run from that kind of vanity now. I have grown so much, I want nothing to do with that kind of meaninglessness.
Social media demands things from us. It is like sin - it takes us further than we want to go.
The people on it demand our attention, our likes, our comments, our mental space to decide for following, unfollowing, blocking, ignoring, commenting the list goes on. And we cause others to use their precious time to see our silly stories. We doubt ourselves and we cause others to doubt themselves. Technology has caused us to have power in how we make others feel, or not feel. It’s too dangerous of a game. This is what our generation calls entertaining and the youth talk about tik tok and Instagram so much in their daily lives, you wonder how they have time for anything else or why they are so tired or unmotivated. Of course they are exhausted and “busy.”
Busy does not mean productive.
For the vast majority, social media is addicting and unless it’s run by a team for a company, I do not see how social media is not at the forefront of an individual’s mind all. day. long.
It disrupts and decays relationships.
It allows secrets,
It promotes insomnia, anxiety and depression.
It promotes sensuality, lust and cheating.
It breaks family and friendships as it steals time and attention and promotes lying.
It promotes greed and loneliness,
Self-judgement and confusion.
It never gives satiety.
It leaves you wanting more, seeking everywhere else for a fill except within oneself. Except from our creator.
It adds very little value to one’s life.
It is a major source of depression
And anxiety
And disappointment
And self judgement
And suicide amongst not only the youth
But adults too.
Social media is likened to a drug where
dopamine releases
In the reward pathway
with benefits of connection in the worst kind of way.
It promotes laziness,
Impatience,
Misunderstandings,
And a host of other emotional debilities.
We could discuss the pros but I can guarantee you that list is going to be much shorter.
After all, social media has become a crutch for society
And many don’t know how to live without it.
It’s what we go to when we are bored,
It’s what we check when we are lonely,
It’s what we look at when we want to be influenced or entertained.
It’s what we use when we want validation.
It’s on our minds when we go enjoy an outing or buy a new thing.
It takes away our attention,
and digs deeper into the brain stem.
This is a psychological issue here taking away self worth.
It has become a major source of negative influence on the youth -
Teaching of new identities,
Glamourizing mental illness,
Advocating suicide,
Promoting many other kinds of death inducing behaviors and
Promoting a “look at me” mentality.
We are not designed to have approval dosed to us every five minutes, or to have to give approval in so many different ways to so many different people.
Is it natural to share ourselves in this way?
Is it natural for men and woman to gaze at one another, lust after one another, look at individuals who have placed themselves up on a pedestal with photo angles, glitter apps, face filters, zit erasers, and then to be zeroed in on in their posts? How will society have strong marriages? How will children learn of life’s true value and from where true heart fire and conviction is found?
Just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should.
Social media is not part of The Gentle Living Lifestyle and those who wish to live gently with self, others and society, must grow into a life without social media and become their own advocate for conscious living.
Social media and the smartphone alike, have both become as a digital pacifier for loneliness,
feeling afraid
or feeling uncertain about ourselves
or feeling depressed or bored.
It atrophies our ability to deal with these human emotions in meaningful and reflective ways.
It creates in us a spy character, where we look into others lives..
Feeding our vain curiosities.
Social media isn’t even social but actually anti-social.
It rudely encourages people to say things they’d never say in person to people they’d never even talk to in person.
It’s become so easy and almost drug like to post something for approval in order to gain that attention desired in the moment
or to watch others live rather than living ourselves. We compare ourselves, we reduce ourselves, we delude ourselves.
Getting rid of the "look at me!" Social medias like TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc will undoubtedly increase the quality of your life.
It is not true that social media “is just a tool, it depends on how you use it.”
If something is a catalyst for widespread issues, it is no longer use-dependant.
Certainly we can bring meaning and comfort to our soul in more meaningful ways.
Social media use is an easy escape from superficial bordem,
Preventing us from progressing in our lives.
Social media has made us stupid,
Lazy,
Indecent,
Miserable people.
Incompetent and
Those using it to parade their children are doing so against their own knowledge, wisdom and rights. Families and children deserve privacy. Romantic relationships deserve sacredness.
Life deserves to be seen as something sacred, again.
If social media has done anything for us it has certainly made us realize how shallow we have become and how desperate we need ourselves and our loved ones. Nothing more.
Do you realize that everytime you use it,
you feel bad about yourself?
It exasperates depression,
allows for constant comparing of your life to everyone else's success, or facade of success.
It tells us what beauty is supposed to look like, health, fitness, what a good time looks like, what we should be wearing, buying, and doing.
And it steals your time!
It is unnatural to not have a natural flow of people coming in and out of our lives throughout the many different seasons of our lives (school, college, marriage, parenting, illness, death).
It's natural for life to evolve,
to lose touch with people and move on from old friends or ex's. Yet social media doesn’t allow for this natural phenomenon.
Why would you want a vague highschool acquaintance, old coworker, or sports friend from 10 years ago checking in on your life. or sharing the sacred (weddings, babies, life accomplishments) with random people who could care less about you.
It is unhealthy for anyone to be jealously watching an ex’s life unfold from afar, or to so easily be part of what now is a game of who will find me or message me (whether you want them to or not). This leaves us on a constant anxiety edge.
All human existence is subject to entropy; things will come apart, eventually, all on their own.
Why then do we choose on throwing accelerant on it with social media?
We need to allow life to unfold, naturally. Social media prevents this unfolding.
We gloat.
We Show off.
We misrepresent our own lives in order to make our followers question the value of their own.
It is nonsense and leads to mental illness.
If you want to live a simpler and more honest life, delete social media platforms.
Do the youth even know how to be friends without the comaderie, baby blanket comfort of being part of social media together? What would these relationships look like without it?
If we play with social media,
we play against artificial intelligence.
It knows evrything about us,
It records our click,
How long we paused at such ad,
What gets us to comment,
and predicts our next move while it sets up its next bait for us,
Because it’s designed for this very thing.
I’ve also contemplated, as you may be right now - is a website or a blog considered as social media? Yes, probably. It has a user and demands others to see its content or what would be the point of it? Yet, I am more concerned with the platforms that allow you to curate your own life and be on the giving and receiving end of cramming it down the throats of anyone who will take a bite.
There can still be found a certain decorum and respect for technology and how information is shared. I’m not concerned as to what it’s considered or called, social media or blog etc. I am more concerned with how does the platform affect and reflect my life, my truth, my privacy and in turn bless others without using or abusing time or energy, or authenticity. I don’t get anyone sending me inappropriate messages or comments here. There is no spam or selling. People will come to this site if they find my content is something they want to digest. I will only visit blogs in like manner. On other platforms, no matter who you choose to follow, there is plenty of other things grabbing for our attention.
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, tiktok, and YouTube have become a cesspool of disgust burned stronger by intense algorithms and mental delusion.
Social media is toxic to mental health, physical health and longevity. It has removed the sacred and left us fearing our worth without it. It has eroded meaning from our lives and instead impregnates our belly’s with falsehood and false comfort; false joy.
Joy comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
Social media is so harmful, it is heard that the creator of the infinite scroll regrets his creation, not realizing the massive effect it would have on society.
Social media needs to be regulated, if it is to not destroy our generations health further and still will require parents and youth to choose a better way of living.
Facebook has become an entity for adults who follow small businesses, raise money for chronic needs, a way to stay connected to distant family, a way to find missing people and kids sports and church event news, etc. Less are the braggy posts as friends at this time are busy with career and family. To these individuals, they must decide for themselves in all honesty if they can live without having to even follow for all that.
The platforms are now requiring a sign in or sign up in order to scroll and view. Just the other day I looked up a local spa business to see services as they don’t have a website, visited their Facebook page and half way down scrolling I get blocked by a large box telling me to sign in or sign up! I certainly won’t have society ruling me into an unhealthy corner.
We do live in a technology age.
We are blessed to be able to exchange and share information, or find that friend we lost touch with,
even the safety of countries lies within technology and information sharing, and
many are helped by what they can read and learn online.
I hope to be a part of that healing,
using the little bit that I feel comfortable with.
And that brings us to our last truth.
Truth #6 - Living without social media will not cause you to miss out on anything. It will only cause you to gain everything you have been designed to have and experience in your life, with full faith, clarity and happiness. Your depression, anxiety and worry will dissipate. You will find a deeper truth to yourself, you will gain time you didn’t know you had, and you will gladly look forward to a brighter future. You will most definitely become a more genuine and courageous individual. The cream of the crop. The one with an individual voice whispering an inner strength into your little world.
I say no to social media.
I don’t want to use my time looking at other peoples profiles.
The only profiles I want to look at it are my kids faces.
What has been your experience with social media? Leave a comment below.
Journeying together,
Kari